The Definition of Happiness: a: a state of well-being and contentment : joy b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience
This is obviously a textbook definition of happiness (or copy and pasted from the Merriam Webster dictionary website). Since textbook definitions of emotions fit like square pegs in round holes when it comes to real life, let's try to break down that definition and apply it to reality. When we break down that definition, we'll come to the conclusion that happiness is inherently flawed and that the supposed sources of happiness are also our sources of being upset and discontent.
A State of Well-being and Contentment; Pleasurable experiences
Simple enough. You just aced an exam, got a promotion/raise at work, the weather outside is nice, yadda yadda yadda. The list of things that can cause well-being, contentment, and joy are limitless. Since I don't know who is going to be reading this, I'll have to use myself as an example to help make sense of what I'm trying to convey. The key is to ask yourself, "What puts 'me' in a state of contentment and joy?" The short list for me would be the following: drinking that first morning coffee, Reading a good book, having a successful workout, going on long walks, listening to a particular song, eating certain foods, and being outside in the sun. Looking at the surface of these experiences, you would say that they don't have a whole lot in common. It's when you dig deeper that the realization of their commonality comes out: situational impermanence. By definition impermanence means, "not permanent, lasting, or durable." What this means, is the feelings that we get when we do things we like, these situations of bliss, last only a short while. They are then followed by (albeit usually small) moments of grief and despair.
"What do you mean? I thought this was about being happy? How do the happy moments create grief and despair?"
The inherent impermanence of the actions that cause happiness is the reason why they are, on a sub conscious level, associated with grief and despair. How often do you drink that cup of coffee or eat the certain food item only to be slightly disappointed when you get to the last bite or get to the bottom of the cup? How often do you spy the house or the car after your long walk and realize that it's over and you have to go back to real life? Then there is the feeling of finishing a good book. You just spent days, weeks, months, reading a book and being in that "world" only to have it come to an end. Sometimes feeling a sense of loss not having their lives be a part of yours anymore. As you can (hopefully) see, the things that make you happy will only make you happy for brief moments; leaving you wanting to reach that level of happiness again and being in want of that happiness most of the time. If you really want to see this in action, look at methamphetamine and other drug addicts. They are constantly trying to get themselves in there state of happiness. Each time the drug wears off they go through withdrawal, get aggravated, and do anything to obtain that high. Once there though, you can see the bliss on their faces. But each subsequent time, they need more, and they need it more often. It is all about the pleasure centers of the brain. I won't get into it, but food addicts are the same way. Except the despair after eating could include guilt, wanting those taste sensations again, heartburn, and indigestion.
Okay, so the "things" that make us happy can and do lead to despair. How does this play into happiness at all? Does this mean that we are destined to be in a cycle of misery and let downs?
That question leads into the first lesson of being happy: Realizing the "emptiness" of our lives and learning to embrace it for what it is.
"What do you mean? I thought this was about being happy? How do the happy moments create grief and despair?"
The inherent impermanence of the actions that cause happiness is the reason why they are, on a sub conscious level, associated with grief and despair. How often do you drink that cup of coffee or eat the certain food item only to be slightly disappointed when you get to the last bite or get to the bottom of the cup? How often do you spy the house or the car after your long walk and realize that it's over and you have to go back to real life? Then there is the feeling of finishing a good book. You just spent days, weeks, months, reading a book and being in that "world" only to have it come to an end. Sometimes feeling a sense of loss not having their lives be a part of yours anymore. As you can (hopefully) see, the things that make you happy will only make you happy for brief moments; leaving you wanting to reach that level of happiness again and being in want of that happiness most of the time. If you really want to see this in action, look at methamphetamine and other drug addicts. They are constantly trying to get themselves in there state of happiness. Each time the drug wears off they go through withdrawal, get aggravated, and do anything to obtain that high. Once there though, you can see the bliss on their faces. But each subsequent time, they need more, and they need it more often. It is all about the pleasure centers of the brain. I won't get into it, but food addicts are the same way. Except the despair after eating could include guilt, wanting those taste sensations again, heartburn, and indigestion.
Okay, so the "things" that make us happy can and do lead to despair. How does this play into happiness at all? Does this mean that we are destined to be in a cycle of misery and let downs?
That question leads into the first lesson of being happy: Realizing the "emptiness" of our lives and learning to embrace it for what it is.
More to come...
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